Week 49 Freeing up income

My fellow SYLers this has been a tough one for me. Up until recently I was better at this – no that’s not right I still am good at this I just choose to spend my money differently now.

I donate more to charity, I do more with my money and more importantly I spend more on me.

I used to scrimp and save on myself.  I used spend on other things not me but this has changed. I now have so much more on my plate and I know the importance of caring for the carer that I actual spend more on myself.  I deserve better than what I was previously doing.

Let me explain… I was always punishing myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough, because I didn’t love myself but more importantly because I thought I didn’t deserve anything. Since finding Louise Hay’s “Heal your life” and all the work am doing with Togetherness healing I know that I am good enough, that I love myself and I deserve all the abundances the universe has.

Maybe in a month or two I will revisit this one but for now I am happy to keep an eye on my expenditure but to also look after myself.

I don’t over do it but I deserve the good things in life.

This week I travelled to my dad to take him to his eye appointment – he has an injection in his eye every 6 weeks.  It is a tough time and I usually do a day trip – I live in the ACT and he is in Tweed Heads ( 14 hours drive or 2 hours flying time).

This time dad needed extra care as he had a bad reaction……. I had two stay an extra two days.  It was tough emotionally and physically.  Dad was in quite a bit of pain. Whilst I was there for 3 days there was also quite a bit of down time as dad had to rest and he doesn’t rest if I am there but I needed to stay to take him back for treatment.  So what to do…… yes you guessed it I hit the beautician, hairdresser and shops – well I need clothes as I only had two days of clothes.

It was a good little break and I got my hair done for the holidays…….I actually got some really great bargains.

Have a great week everyone.

http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-50-money-increasing-income-to-meet-goals/

Week 48 - Financial Matters

My financial situation and thoughts are shaped by many things in my life – up until four months ago I was all about spending as little as possible, buying the cheapest things, forsaking quality for “good buys” and basically saving. That’s not to say I didn’t have some bad habits – I played the pokies and yes I played them hard. There has never been a time when I haven’t met my financial responsibilities.  My parents were very frugal with money – actually they were over the top with saving money. Other family members were not so frugal with money and I wanted to be somewhere in the middle – well that was until four months ago when my sister passed away. Now things are different.

I am doing so many new things, courses, fun runs, going out and buying things I want.

I’ve also stopped doing things – I don’t play the pokies anymore, I don’t waste money on things I don’t need.

My husband and I are on the same wavelength with money – actually we have always been.

We both work and we have a good life we pay our bills, buy things we want, give to charity and have enough money to do want we want.  The thing is we don’t want a lot – or what we want doesn’t cost a lot.  I’m not into big houses, fancy cars, overseas holidays or the “fancy” stuff in life. We live a simple happy life where we enjoy what we do.

Since my sister passed it is more important to me than ever to enjoy life – live in the now, who knows what the future will bring. This new way of thinking is also tempered with the need for stability so whilst I am spending I am also keeping an eye on what I am spending, I save up for things and I still save with my purchases.  But I don’t sacrifice quality anymore. So some things have changed.

Lets not kid ourselves money is important but more specifically financial security is very important. The last thing I want to do is leave big bills to my son. My aim in life is to have enough to do enough while leaving enough.

I am very rich in so many ways it may not be financial or assets but it is what is important to me. I have a wonderful family, great friends, a terrific life filled with many amazing things. I am privileged in so many ways that it gives me great joy to give to others and for me that is enough.

I’d like to share a very special moment with you – my work put on a Christmas fair yesterday and today for special needs kids and kids from work.  It was amazing we’ve been fundraising for a couple of months and working on a number of things.  There were over a 100 special needs kids plus a 100 staff kids.  Yes it was huge.  I won’t go into all the details but it was a Christmas wonderland filled with displays, nativity play, card making, cup cake decorating, picture frame decorating, computer games, games and so much more.

Not only did I do heaps of fundraising  I worked on the Nativity play and ran the card making – it was really fun. I had a great time helping the kids make the cards. After spending 6 hours setting up and running the card making last night and then backing up for another 5 hours today with aching legs and back the most amazing thing happened……………

In the last hour a special needs girl made a card for her mum, she gave the card to her mum and told her how much she loved her. It was truly beautiful, she then thanked us for helping her again and again. She was so very happy and then she wished us a very merry Christmas. As we returned the Christmas greeting she held out her hand to me so I shook it. She turned my hand over and kissed the back of my hand. I couldn’t believe the emotion I felt at that moment.  I was overwhelmed with emotion. This small act of thanks from this very special child meant so much to me and I can honestly say it has made a very big impact on me.  I feel so very rich today.  It is true when we give we receive.

Yes my life is a very full, happy and rich life and really that is all that matters.
http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-49-money-reducing-outgoing-to-meet-goals/

Week 46 - Christmas Gifts

Only 38 days until Christmas......

I’ve always had this side of things sorted early. Lists are usually made by October and the majority of presents brought and wrapped by the beginning of November.  Usually…..

This year has been different – time has gotten away on me and well here I am staring down the barrel of Christmas and I’m not organised.  Yes you know what is coming next….. a list.
Well truth be told I made one last week but I’ve lost it….. A bit of karma there, maybe my guardian angel didn’t like what I picked for people and hid the list from me.  I don’t know. All I know is I have to start again.

Just to make it more of a challenge, I’ve received some wonderful news this week and we’ve worked out a date where my husband’s family can get together prior.  This year was their year and with my current family situation LOML, Merman and I are going to spend Christmas with my dad instead.  I just can’t leave my dad alone and it would have been too difficult to bring him here.  My wonderful hubby said we have to go to my dad, that we can’t leave him alone which means we don’t get to spend Christmas with his family. 

So my wonderful in-laws have worked out a date so we can have our own Christmas celebration. I am so very lucky to be surrounded by people that understand my responsibilities to dad.

Oh yes  - the challenge….. the only time that suits everyone is the 2 December.  Yep the 2 December – yes that is two weeks away. Oh my – two weeks. Yes it now only 14 days until Christmas......

First things first. Breath deeply.  It’s going to be ok. 

We only buy for the kids.  So I only need to sort out gifts for a 24, 17, 7, 5 and 3 year old. Not too bad really.  I have most of the gifts already.  The older two are quite easy – I give money and a few little personal gifts.  The little ones are easy too at their ages it is all about quantity and not quality.  Actually thinking about it I am more organised than I thought.  I do have quite a few presents. I just need to get some clothes for the little ones and a few toys.

Thinking about this even further, I am loving the idea that we are celebrating Christmas early that means I can get xmas tee shirts for the kids so they will be able to get more wear out of them. 

This year I am going to give each family group (we are only a small family and there is three groups) a hamper to express my gratitude for their support and kindness during the past difficult months. So this works out really well too as it’s not a Christmas gift but things they can use at Christmas time.  Win Win win!

Best I be off and do a bit of shopping and wrapping.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-47-catch-up-week/ )

Week 45 - Traditions

Traditions are very important and none more important that family traditions.

For me this has always been the case and we have always kept the family traditions, this year will be no different.  My family celebrate Christmas eve and Christmas day. Both are simple affairs but meaningful to us.

This year we will be with my father and I am taking the Christmas eve celebrations to his aged care facility.  I have the dinning room booked and LOML, Merman and my nephew will be joining dad and his friend to celebrate.  It will be low key and simple.
On Christmas day we will join dad again in the home for lunch…….. not quite the festive feast but well we don’t need a big feast.
We will be visiting LOML’s family a week prior to Christmas and spending time with our great nieces and great nephew. The best part of Christmas – watching little ones open their presents.

Traditions are very important to me and I will always continue my family traditions.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/christmas-gifts-simplified/ )

Week 44 - Planning for Christmas

Well here we are the 4^th of November and Christmas is looming actually it is running full speed at me and what planning have I done………
Not a lot.
Yes I know that is very surprising by now I usually have all my lists made, half if not all of the present sorted and wrapped but this year it has been different.

For those who have been following my blog – I know you have heard this many times. The loss of my sister on the 22 July has really hit me for six.  Her passing has turned my world upside down… I’ve changed so many things, started many new things but most importantly have put myself out in the big wide world and not spent so much time at home making lists and plans…..

Deb’s reminder (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-45-holidays-and-traditions/  ) to make some plans has jolted me into action.

It will be a simple Christmas this year as we will be with Dad but I still need to sort some things out. Presents for the great nieces and nephews, organising time together for family and friends, Christmas cards – I want to make and also some of the charity work I want to do.

So today is the day I start planning.

Presents – calls to make and see what is needed, wanted (and not wanted).

Cards – time to design a few cards and see how I go

Invites – first things first – who do I want to catch up with prior to Christmas or should I make it a new year event.

Charity – I am helping out with a fundraiser at work and it has taken a bit of time but it will be good – a 100 kids coming to a Christmas fair. 

Christmas – I have planned this already and it will be simple I am happy with the plans so far and it will be good. I will be with my boys…..

So its off the computer and into action……..

Week 43 - Christmas

Christmas – I say bring it on. Bring what on I hear you say….. mmmm that is a tough one and Deb’s ( http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/holidays-organising-planning/)  challenge for this week has got me thinking.

Christmas – what do I really want from Christmas? What does my family want from Christmas? What will Christmas look like this year?

To find these answers I looked back at all the christmas’ – the small, the big, the lonely, the crowded, the fun, the sad – the good, the bad and the ugly.

There have been some great ones and some very average ones.

What made the great ones great and the average ones average?  Family!!!!

My early Christmas celebrations were very simple and filled with love. My parents are German and we have always celebrated on Christmas eve – Simple, family orientated and fun.  We always had gifts but nothing over the top, there was always plenty of food but not over the top and we always had love – plenty  of it.

So when did things change – obviously when I married things did change but not greatly. My In laws are from Belgium and as with my family there weren’t many of us (Mum and dad and 2 sisters on both sides). Christmas for both sides of the family has always been about being together and enjoying each other’s company. So when did it change?  As our families grew and we need to accommodation other in-laws, as our finances grew and we took Christmas to a new level (more money on gifts, more money on food).  Bit of a pattern here – when we took away the simple is when Christmas started to loose some of it’s glitz for me.  There are some memories of when it was really obscene the amount of gifts that we purchased for so few…. Yes I was to blame too. 

I was much happier when it was simple. That’s what I am aiming for.  Quality not quantity.

This year things will be different. It will be sad – my first Christmas without my big sister. So what does that mean – we usually don’t spend Christmas together anymore – we have in law responsibilities and well I don’t like the Gold coast at Christmas (too hot and too busy), we have dad to consider and moving him is too difficult. 

One of the last Christmas we had together was a Christmas in July and it was great  - simple and fun together.

Ok back on track – Christmas 2012 will be different. LOML, Merman and I usually spend every second year with LOML’s family and then the other year by ourselves. This year it was LOML’s family’s turn which in itself caused a few problems but LOML has said that considering the circumstances that we will go to my dad for Christmas. So it is 2 weeks on the Gold coast for us. I am so very glad because I need to be with dad.

There were a few things to consider with LOML’s family this year – His niece usually hosts Christmas lunch because they had a pool and bigger place plus then her husband’s family all come too (his parents have 15 brothers between them, then you add in the grandparents, kids and who there are heaps and heaps of people). This year one of the other uncles wanted to host Christmas – which is only fair.  So this year LOML’s family get together will be a bit earlier and will go back to being smaller, easier, simpler and probably more fun.  As it turns out I will be getting my wish for a simpler Christmas.

For me this Christmas will be different and very important – I need to step up and look after Dad. I’ve got plans and I will make sure we all have a good time.  I am organising Christmas eve for dad in the aged care facility (he doesn’t like eating out) so it will a nice quiet, simple time.  Keeping some of the family traditions going – Christmas eve, small presents, being together.

A time for reflection and a time for being together.

PS,  My sister loved Christmas and up until a few years ago was right into decorating the house with Christmas lights – in a major way.  She actually won the novice Gold Coast award for Christmas lights.  I have fantastic memories of Christmas and the lights.

Week 42 – Friendships

Ah friendships, they come in all shapes and sizes – good for you and bad for you.  This is another area I have been changing in my life. Yes so many changes and here I go with a few more.

Friendships come and go as we go through the different changes in our lives so do the friendships. Over the past year my best friend and I have gone different ways – we both changed and no longer think about things the same way. We both changed. Neither one was right but more importantly neither one was wrong. It was just different.

All of a sudden I didn’t want to spend time with her – well it was when I did spend time with her it wasn’t enjoyable. Actually it was annoying. It took me a while to realise it was ok to move forward and without her.

So here I am friendless (BFF is now just a distant memory). Friendless is a bit harsh, I do have other friends just not a BFF………

I’ve made some new friends, found some new interests but something was still missing – that was until yesterday. I was invited to a card making party.  Card making – ok I didn’t think that I’d enjoy it but I thought well give it a go and meet new people.  Well blow me down  if I didn’t really enjoy it and have a blast. I met some really nice people and found a new hobby. Woo hoo.  Big tick to the first part of the challenge.

I took this one in my stride too and called a friend and we are catching up on Thursday. I’ve never really had any problems with this one.  It is something I do best, but not as much as I should. So my challenge will be to connect more.

Friendships lost and friendships gained. Looking back to move forward I know the people I want to be with and I will seek them out. http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/holidays-visions-expectations/

Week 41 - Marriages

 I don’t know how Deb ( http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-42-friendships/ ) does it but the SYL challenges seem to be working hand in hand with the Heal your life homework I have. Last week we looked at relationships in Heal your life which led in nicely to this week’s SYL challenge……How to challenge our relationship this week?

A little bit of background…. I’ve been married to LOML for 29 years in November. Yep 29 Years -  for those that were wondering yes I was a child bride…..We’ve been good and bad times and we have one child – Merman 16 years old.

Times have been tough but times have also been good.  I truly believe LOML is my soul mate, just at some times we loose our way and things don’t go so well. Both us are to blame – neither of us are right and neither of us are wrong.  We have been through lots together and at times I think that I don’t want to be with him anymore but then he does something and I know I don’t ever want to be without him.  Things do get a stale and we do take ourselves for granted. We just get caught up in the every day and forget to have fun, we forget why we are together. No its more than that - we get so caught up in our lives the every day stuff we forget to have fun and why we got together.

This past week I have been really looking at our relationship and I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay but this week he has been amazing.  Full of love for me, telling me how much he cares and even telling me how much I matter to him. 

As part of my Heal Your life course I have been saying an affirmation about how I am grateful that we live harmoniously and that our relationship gives me everything I need.  I also had an ah ha moment – I keep wanting things but had forgotten to think about LOML, instead of worrying about myself all the time I should also be thinking about what he wants. 

This week I started doing things a bit differently and it has paid off.

We are getting on better and life is easier - a little less emotionally cluttered.

I also want to do a few things differently and I want to bring in a bit more fun into our relationship, we have gotten into a bit of a rut.  So next weekend I’ve asked LOML to go to the Rollerderby with me. Yes I know Rollerderby!  I’ve seen a few ads and well I think it will be fun.  The good thing is that he said yes.   It should be a fun night…… so already we are doing things differently.  I know it is only small steps but it is a start.

I am looking forward to finding new things we can do together to reignite our relationship.

 

Week 40 - Negative and toxic people

This is a challenge I have been dealing with lately and it is one that I found quite difficult. I started this about a year ago and have continued to “detox” my life. This can be difficult at times and was really hard but I’ve managed it.

I suppose it was a case of them or me and I matter more.  I looked at all my relationships and asked one question – Do the relationship drain me or does it enrich me? 

Sometimes it is hard to answer this question and it takes time to work it out but work it out I did. It took a lot of time and at times it really hurt.  One of the people I’ve removed (that’s a tough word – how about lessened contact with) from my life was my best friend of 25 years. We’d been through thick and thin but a year ago things changed.

We both changed and grew – in our case we grew apart. It is ok and I feel better for it but (yes there is always one of them) there are times you want your bestie. When my sister was in hospital and the subsequent weeks after her death I needed somebody – not my family but somebody to listen, to cry to, to tell my fears, to vent my anger just somebody to listen to me.  So I called her and it was ok, it wasn’t what it was but it was what I needed.

We sorted of kept in contact but we both know it will never be the same. But it was what it was. Over the last week she lost a close family member and I found out via Facebook.  So I called her mum to offer my condolences, I was very close to her mum and well I love her. I called her too and it was ok – not great but I let her know I was there for her.  I will be attending the funeral and I will offer all support but I also know it will never be the same.

So toxics have been removed but a lingering taste remains. It will be tough for many reasons but it is something I have to do.

I have also been removing other toxic people from my life. Whilst I can’t remove all at the moment I am distancing myself from them and limiting contact.

Now the fun begins – filling the spaces with new friends.  I’ve met some really great people lately.  By freeing up my time and regaining some energy I’ve been able to take on new challenges and meet new people that raise me up instead of dragging me down.

So whilst it is hard to detox………. it is so much fun and such a happy time meeting new like minded people.

thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-41-marriage/)

Week 39 - Parenting

Parenting – what does this mean for me? What are the parenting challenges I am facing at the moment?  Deb ( http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/   ) this couldn’t come at a better time. 

So what are my challenges – this is going to take a little bit of explaining and I know you will forgive me as I work my way through this.

In it’s simplest terms for me parenting is looking after my son and helping him to achieve everything he can whilst keeping him safe, protected and nourishing him in all areas.  As he grows up this is easier because I have grown and am now more confident but when he was a little tacker it wasn’t that easy.

We moved to Canberra a month before Merman was born – no family, no friends and being pregnant not work mates for me.  It was tough, I was scared and nobody but my hubby. My mum was only a phone call away but she was many miles away.

We were older first time parents and this was good for me, I was more settled and ready to settle down as was my hubby.

The best bit of advice my dear mum gave me was – it’s only a weed if you think it is a weed. Basically do what you think is right and what works for you not what others think or do.

LOML and I have done this and it works for us….. Don’t get me wrong, we made mistakes and still do.  Nobody is perfect but I am confident that I do the best I can and that if I do make a mistake I get over it and move on. I am never too proud to say sorry or to change a decision, rule or punishment.

I’ve been attending a workshop on Lousie Hay’s Heal your life and it is such an eye opener.  Louise says “we all do the best we can”, that we are all victims and that nobody hurts another one on purpose.

I’ve have learned so much and I know I made mistakes but I am trying to fix them.  I wish I hadn’t yelled so much at Merman, I wish I had played more games with him, I wish we had done more outside things.  This isn’t to say we didn’t do these things but I wish I had done more. I wish I hadn’t put others first – like work. I did the best I could.

Each and every one of us grows – both in ourselves and our parenting. This is as it should be. I am happy with our relationship and as any parent of a 16 year old (going on 30) will tell you some days are tough.  Hang on a minute – lets be honest here.  Merman is a great kid, we haven’t had any trouble with him.  There have been some issues at school – bullying etc but there hasn’t been any major issues.  No Drinking, Drugs, Bad behaviour just a young man doing the best he can.

Yes we were tough on him with manners and doing the right thing but now he is developing into his own man and a man I am proud of in so many ways.  I just wish he would study more, he gets good grades at school but he could do better with more study.  I can only show him, tell him and ask him to do it. I will not nag.

All is good and I am pleased with our relationship – Merman has a wonderful  heart and displays it often. I am very proud of him and love him to bits.  Challenges yes there are some and will be more but with love, understanding, respect and mutual goals we can achieve anything and everything.

There is something else I’d like to mention on this topic and its something I have been struggling to deal with…….

As you all know my sister passed away recently and even though Dad is in aged care, Mally was the main carer for him – she visited each week and did all the little things for him.  Dad is on the Gold Coast and I am in Canberra and my other sister is in Adelaide.  All of a sudden we are the joint carers for our father.

A new world for all of us……..

Dad is 86 with only 20% vision and onset of dementia.  Oh yeah I am 14 hours drive away and my sister is 25 hours drive away.  I am learning – it is hard but I am learning.  It is just like having a toddler again. His memory is going, he is getting paranoid, he wants attention all the time and he is so very negative – everyone is out to get him (even the lady calling bingo in the home). It is so very hard – my father, the tough strong man that I was always a bit fearful of now is relying on me. I am learning new skills and ways of dealing with dad.  Its not easy – I think the hardest thing for me is to understand that others can help too, that I don’t have to do it all.  Dad can still do some things for himself and there are others who want to help. There are also services available to help too.

As mentioned before for me parenting is looking after my son and helping him to achieve everything he can whilst keeping him safe, protected and nourishing him in all areas so it is for looking after my dad.

Parenting comes in all shapes and sizes, the thing to remember is that you are doing the best you can. Be kind to yourself, you will make mistakes – learn from them and that is the best lesson you can teach your child.

 I’ve been moving in a new direction in my life – for many reasons that I’ve mentioned in previous posts. I am more positive, I strongly believe that beliefs are very important – the way we think about ourselves shapes us. What belief we give others is so very important – actually it is the greatest gift you can give your child or anybody around you. It is also important to dissolve any belief that doesn’t serve you well.

My Challenge is to continue to create beliefs for my son that will see him achieve in his life but more importantly to dissolve any harmful beliefs. A challenge I am feel very confident in achieving.

Week 38 - Checking In

The last six weeks have flashed past in a blur – I seem to remember making plans for better eating, moving, beauty and relaxing.

So what have I been up to in the last 6 weeks…….

Balance – my life has never been more balanced.  I have reassessed, reorganised and reinvented myself and I am enjoying my new schedule.

Eating better – this has been hit and miss, definitely a work in progress.  One thing I have done is stopped drinking diet drinks……. I am drinking more water.  My meals are better and I don’t pig out as much but there is room for improvement.

Moving – this has been the biggest change for me.  I have joined the most amazing gym and love the time I spend there. Actually I am going 4 times a week and really do understand how gyms can become addictive. Its 3 weeks until  my assessment but I do feel I’ve reduced weight and improved.

Beauty – this has never been an important focus for me but  I have added some routines into my schedule.  I am shaving my legs regularly and moisturising twice a day. 

Relaxing – understanding what relaxing means to me is the key.  So what is relaxing….. I love being on Facebook and I relax each night with it.  Pedicures once a month and chilling out.

Looking back I have achieved a great deal in the past few weeks, yes there is still room for improvement and I will be making those improvements over the coming weeks.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-parenting/) its good to look back to see how far we have come.  

Week 37 Self Care

Self care is one of the most important changes I have made and to be honest it is the one I needed to make the most.   I no longer think it is selfish to do something for yourself, to spend time on yourself I actually think it is a necessity.

I think this is so important, actually it is something that for many years was lacking in my life until just recently.

I always thought people were selfish when they did things for themselves, put themselves first.  I’d see people making time for doing things for themselves whether it be at lunch time evening or weekends. A couple of years ago this started to change for me and has been on the improve ever since.

I had it wrong it isn’t about being selfish at all.  It is about taking care of yourself so you can keep going and caring for others.

I decided a while ago to change but the hard thing for me was how to change…. A life time of thinking that I had to put everyone first and me second took a bit to change.  So here I am nearly 49 years and I’ve been married for nearly 29 years and I decide to change……… How?

The first step for me was simplifying my life (thanks Deb….http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/health-wellness-update/) – I am well on my way now but to be honest there were a few tough times and I didn’t’ feel I was moving in the direction I wanted.   I was still putting myself second and not focussing on myself. I was thinking that It was enough that I was doing some things but well it wasn’t.

With the passing of my sister, things changed and to be honest all I seem to do lately is taking care of myself.  No that is wrong – I am making time for the things I want to do and I am also taking care of everything else.  I’ve even taken on some extra responsibilities (Dad and work).

Each week I am going to the gym 3 or 4 times, I am attending a “heal yourself workshop”, meditation session once a week, regular pedicure and haircuts when I need it.  I am spending time on myself and enjoying it.  It may not be regular but I make sure I schedule times into my weekly plan. You know what I still find time to take care of everything else.

Self care – luxury no I say it is a necessity.

Week 36 - Beauty and Fashion Rituals.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder……………..

This week is a tough one for me as I don’t do the beauty and fashion thing well or at all – if I am being honest.
Being overweight I have always hidden behind the excuses of I don’t need to spend the time on beauty and fashion – what does it matter I won’t look good anyway…….when I loose some weight I can get new clothes

Oh yeah lets not forget my all time favourite…… I will work on my inner beauty and that is all that matters.

Well here I am nearly 49 years old and where has it got me.  Yep still overweight, inner beauty has been and always will be awesome and no distinct fashion style.

I’ve been thinking about this all week and trying to work out what I want.  Is it to follow fashion and be like everyone else, or is it to be myself and what is myself……………..

No to being like everyone else so what is my fashion style.

My sister was very much into coordination – all colours must match and styles have to go together. She spent a lot of time and money on creating each of her ‘looks’.  It was so much fun watching her get ready – it is one of the many things I will miss. But it isn’t the thing for me.

I love scarves and I use them to dress up or dress down an outfit. I have declutter my wardrobe (thanks to Debhttp://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-37-self-care/) I have got rid of a lot of clothes and I don’t buy anything new unless I really “love it madly or need it badly”.

I am at the gym and eating better and have started my weight reduction journey so fashion is on the back burner for me at the moment – for a fresh look I will add a new scarf or two……

Ok that is fashion sorted for now.  What about beauty?

I don’t do this very well. I don’t spend the time, not that is not true  I could always make time I don’t feel the need to do the whole make up thing.  What I need to do is a few basic things – I have very  dry skin and I don’t moisturise enough and I am a little bit hairy after the winter so there are two things I know I can work on.

There is an add running here in Canberra at the moment about a hairy caterpillar that sits at home because she is too hairy to go out in public until she goes to a hair removal place and a beautiful butterfly emerges.  So its time for this hairy caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly.

 Ok so I’ve got a plan…. This time I didn’t make a list but it’s ok because a plan is just as good as a list.

Each day I will moisturise twice a day – whilst saying my affirmations and each week I will use my foot bath, soak my feet and shave my legs. 

Sounds like beauty is on its way to being sorted out…….. lets see how I go over the next few weeks and then I might add another ‘beauty’ thing to the daily activities.

Wow what a couple of weeks this has been :

Promotion at work, Heal your life workshop, Going to the gym, Working on the wardrobe,              Taking a few beauty steps

 I am finding peace in finding myself.

               

Week 35 – Rest and Relaxation

I was so rested and relaxed this week I didn’t get time to do my challenge. 

Well, sort of anyway.  I’ve made lots of changes over the past few weeks and part of those changes has been the added responsibility of long distance caring for my father.  But more importantly the changes I am making have added more to my day….. gym, Heal your life workshop, looking after dad and keeping in touch with my sister’s friends on top of soccer manager and getting a promotion at work.   

I’ve always been a strong believer of relaxing…. Actually I probably relaxed too much in the past. Now I am all about balance.

With so much on my plate at the  moment rest and relaxation are very important. That is why I have chosen Samsara as my gym – it is a very peaceful, caring and empowering environment that I feel relaxed even when I am doing my cardio and strength work out.

I’ve been thinking about what I am going to commit to ………

There are a lot of things I could commit to but I think that the one thing, the important thing is to commit to myself and I’ve started doing that.  It is the small change I’ve made but a very important one.

I am looking after myself, I am forgiving myself and more importantly I am doing things for me,  not only for everyone else.

http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-beauty-routine/

Time for change
 

 

 

Week 34 - Eating Habits

Eating habits – yep I have them and they aren’t good.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about, dwelling on and reworking my eating habits during my life time. After many many many years of looking at this issue where I even dabbled with writing a book (actually I wrote a book but it needs lots of work) I know what I should do but I don’t do it.

My book dealt with looking back to move forward – looking at why the habits were formed in the first place. No blaming but an honest look to know why food became my enemy. I found out that food wasn’t the enemy it was what I did with it that was the problem. I treated food as comfort or as a reward anything but what it actually is…. Sustenance.

So what happened, what did I do, how did I use this information………..nothing, nudder, zip, zilch.  Ok that is a bit harsh. I have changed some things but I haven’t made any progress with my weight reduction. There needs to be a strong correlation between eating habits and moving the body and so far for me there hasn’t been.

There is so much more to weight reduction, eating habits and moving the body – well it is for me.  I do know what I should do but I don’t do it. I’ve read heaps on this topic but I don’t do it. For me it is getting my headspace right – understanding why I treat food as a reward, as comfort and not sustenance, in particular why I eat so much and why I look to food when I am happy, sad, scared, alone, in company, annoyed, upset, celebrating…… I think you get the idea.

I am working towards changing my relationship with food and I will be successful – these SYL challenges are an important part of this journey. I am also participating in a Heal your life workshop and that has also been very important.

Another thing that I need to take into consideration is that LOML has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so I need to make sure our eating habits work for the whole family. We were going really well but have been a bit slack lately.  

I am going to take small steps and work on two things each week – drinking more water and designing an eating plan that is 6 small meals per day instead of 3 big ones.  

Combined with at least two gym visits and walking at least 3 times a week will make a difference. I am not going to stress about numbers – how many kilos lost, how many calories, how many centimetres. I am going to change my eating habits and move my body and that will make the difference.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-35-rest-and-relaxation/ ) another great challenge.

Week 33 - Moving my body

I really need this, I have to do this. Now is the time. Actually now is overdue but I can’t go back and change things – the past is the past and for the future I want I need to get my act together now.

So now it is.

And now more than ever NOW is so very important to me.  Four weeks ago today my sister passed away. Four weeks ago today my life changed forever.  With all the sadness, with all the massive changes and with all my tears there has to be some positive changes too and this is the promise I make now – there will be changes and they will be positive. I need to take better care of myself and I will.

I am nearly 49 years old and overweight, unfit and generally unhealthy but not only my body my thoughts need an overhaul. I have started working on my mind – actually I’ve been working at it for a while and being part of Deb’s SYL has been a major part of the changes. I am also taking part in a 10 week heal your life workshop (which is fantastic and I highly recommend). So my mind is getting on track, I am simplifying my life – decluttering my headspace to leave room for the positives and finding the affirmations to help me to a better place.

Now for the body………….

I’ve done it all Jenny Craig, Gloria Marshall, Beer diet, weight watchers, Fernwood, swimming, walking, fun runs and the list goes on but nothing worked.  Even wrote a book about losing weight but didn’t lose the weight.  I know what to do – but just don’t do it. Something always gets in the way.  I am figuring it out and I know it is about feeling safe and protected, my headspace work is getting to the bottom of this but I also need to work on the physical side of things.

Everything happens for a reason…….  This is the only way I can explain the devastation that has occurred in the last four weeks (at the moment nothing else makes sense to me).

Last week I didn’t feel like cooking so after dropping Merman at work I picked up some “slow noodle fast” and there was a brochure for a new gym……….. Samsara Women’s Health Club.  I was intrigued and I needed something to read while I was waiting for dinner to be cooked.  As I read I knew I had found it, the place that was going to be perfect for the changes I needed to make.

It is not about the gym work it is about “Your journey towards positive health and wellbeing”. A safe and positive place to make the changes that need to be made. It’s not just about the body it is about the journey and the headspace to make the positive changes. 

I made the call and yesterday I met Belinda and wow what an amazing woman.  Yes I signed up and today in an hour I go for my assessment and then we will work out a program for me. I am so excited that not even the cold Canberra morning can dampen my exuberance.

I really am looking forward to this journey – this is the place I need to be right now.

Not only is it close to home – 4 mins in the car….. operating times are good for me. Meditation classes start next week and also Kinesis classes too.

 Everything happens for a reason.

Thanks Deb (  http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-eating-habits/ ) for giving me the reminder how important it is to move my body.  

A brand new day is dawning for me.........................

Week 32 - Balance

Well here we are at week 32 and wow hasn’t it gone fast. So much has happened and to be honest the last few weeks have knocked me for six. I don’t want to rehash a lot of stuff but with my sister passing away 3 weeks ago so much has changed for me and I am reassessing everything in my life, everything!

Balance is more important than ever now.

More importantly my priorities are changing – have changed. I now have more responsibility regarding my father’s care. A responsibility I am more than happy to take on but I also know it will had many pressures to me and my family.

Balance will be the key and I need to get my life back into balance.

I have been spending far too much time on me – I have been selfish and have been doing too many me things. 

So how do I change this -  yep I make a list and add in my new responsibilities.

I will be travelling more – one day trips to the Gold Coast, sorting out Xmas – can’t have dad being by himself at Xmas.

I need to remain healthy – I need to fit into the airline seats without getting the seat belt extension. So for me the next couple of months will be about my health – getting to a healthy weight and maintaining it, getting a few medical things sorted out and letting go of some of the pressure.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/exercise-habit-motivation/    )  just what I needed.

SYL - 52 Week Challenge - Weeks 28 to 31

I’ve been away for a few weeks and need to do a bit of catching up…..

 

Week 28 - Cleaning

I’ve said this before and no doubt I will say it again (and again) – I don’t like cleaning, I really don’t like cleaning at all.
I do anything and everything to get out of cleaning. I actually don’t think about it too much, I just don’t do it until the house is really bad and it needs it or visitors are coming.  So I really need help with this part of my life.

I am very lucky my husband does all the washing and I do the ironing. We share the cooking and the rest of the chores sometimes.

We have a modest 3 bedroom house with one bathroom and toilet. Not a lot too do.

Should be easy shouldn’t it…….

Well its not – I hate housework and I would love to get a cleaner and you know what that is what I am going to do.  I can afford it so I will do it. Just for the bathroom and toilet and floors. Surely it shouldn’t be too expensive.  Who cares – let me explain.

Two weeks ago my sister passed away unexpectedly she had the flu and then had an asthma attack which lead to two cardiac arrests.  She was on life support for 7 days and we turned it off on the 21 July. My dear sweet sister passed away on 22 July. She was 57 years young and my world has been turned upside down.  I am devastated but I have a family too look after but I also have now taken over power of attorney (along with my other sister) for our father who lives on the Gold coast.  We both live interstate so there will many issues.

My life has to be simplified even further, I will need to make day trips to the Gold Coast to take dad to doctors appointments, I will be managing the finances, I will be taking on many responsibilities so I will need time.

I have already simplified my life in so many ways – getting rid of clutter (still some way to go) but more importantly getting rid of the emotional clutter.

I am going to be reassessing many things over the next few weeks to make sure everything The 3 questions asked are very important:

What is your minimum standard cleaning routine?

I would love to say do nothing at all but being realistic some housework needs to be done.  Minimum is bathrooms, floors and ironing each week. Dusting every second week. Little bits in between.

What is your cleaning approach?

Well it has been when I wanted to do it – which is hardly ever. But now it will be a routine because I do better with routines and you know I am even do a list or two….

Do you use any systems to save you time and effort with cleaning?

Something I have never thought about but well I will need to I suppose. Maybe tomorrow…….

Ok so that is cleaning ticked off…. I wish it was as easy as that.

Week 29 - Paper and information

With my new responsibilities this is going to be a major challenge. Dad on the Gold Coast and my other sister in Adelaide  - providing the care he needs will be a challenge.

The only way to do this is to have routines, lists and a good system well for me anyway. LOML already has all our paperwork sorted now it is my turn to set up some processes for Dad’s stuff. 

I will be approaching it in my usual way – lists, processes and making it happen.

I’ve set up folders, simplified the banking and have a daily to do list. I know things will calm down when we get into a routine but it is a bit overwhelming at the moment.

Updating contacts and the diary, keeping in contact with my sister and the home were Dad is, reconciling bank statements will be an hourly job each night. Yep it will take time but Dad gave much of his time for me this is the least I can do.

Week 30 - Household management

My household needs more than one new habit a day but as with anything that is important starting out small is the key and to that end I will establish one new habit and then then when it is well entrenched I will establish another new habit.

So what habit will it be first……….

I like the idea of the 15 minute clean up each day so I am going to steal it ( I am sure Deb won’t mind).

I will make a slight adjustment I will make it a 30 minute cleanup and include electronic cleaning up too.

Week 31 - Catch up week

Whew!  I really needed this.

I have looked back and I am so pleased with my progress. So much has changed in my life thanks to SYL I have been decluttering my home but more importantly decluttering my life and I have gotten rid of a lot of garbarge – literally and emotionally.

With any change it is important review it, check what has been working and what hasn’t been working. 

I am really really happy with my progress. Have I done everything I wanted to – no I haven’t, is there still more to do – yes there is.

As I move to this new phase of my life I know the skills I’ve learnt from Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-32-balance/) will help me take care of all the responsibilities that I know have.

52 Week Challenge - Week 27

Home routines and systems

Routine plays a big part of our lives, it could be no other way.  I’ve mentioned this before but it bears mentioning again – LOML is anal, really anal. Everything we do has some sort of process, routine or plan attached. Yes sometimes this is too much and there have been many words spoken, shouted, ignored or thought about routines in our home. Don’t get me wrong I love a good routine and at work I am known as the queen of lists but sometimes you need to be spontaneous and I think it is really important to marry the two and this is the way I do it.

Having a plan, doing things by routine helps you to be spontaneous.  Routines help me free up time so I can be spontaneous and ensures everything gets done but more importantly ensures things are done the way we like them done. This is a really important point – routines will only work if they are complimentary to the people using them.  Don’t have a routine if you know it won’t work for you or won’t value add to your family.  For a routine to be successful it has to be simple and easy to manage, something that is hard to handle will only add stress and for me the purpose of finding “my simple” is to reduce the stress in my life.

There is always room for improvement and an area I want to work on is a pre made grocery list.  I already have a planning day where I look forward for a week and month, I plan meals for the week and look at what we have coming up.  With a 16 year old son who works part time, plays soccer, is participating in Duke of Edinburgh, has a girlfriend and a social life it gets a bit hectic. So planning is essential especially when I add in the things I want to do. Luckily we are able to fit in everything and with a bit of tweaking we have a very smooth life, a lifestyle that is everything we want it to be.

My shopping day does change and is planned around Merman’s work – he works at a local supermarket and I shop when I drop him off for work.  As you can see routines aren’t set in stone – planned but not set in stone.  The routine part comes into play by the way I do it not necessarily when I do it.  I look at the week ahead, plan the meals (taking into account my work – when it is busy I sometimes cook the night before so the boys can heat up dinner just in case I have to work late). I check in with both hubby and son to see what is going on.  Soccer training day we get home later and it is not a good idea to plan a meal that takes too long to cook.  

Having a meal plan is a big part of my planning and I always have one so it should be easy to create a pre made grocery list.  It should be so why haven’t I don’t it yet. The plan for this week is to develop a pre made grocery list that works for me.  As usual I approach this challenge by producing a list.

Categories	What can affect shopping	Solution
Fruit and Veg, bread, Deli, Meat, Fridge, Freezer, other, snacks, drinks, bathroom/laundry	I shop at different supermarkets so I can’t put the list in order of the supermarket	Have a list for each place I shop or create the list in categories not the shop
Bread	When I shop	This doesn’t matter
	Printing the list	Do I have to print it can I put it on my phone

Writing this down has been really helpful for me as I can see there is nothing that is really stoping me creating a pre made grocery list.

Ok that’s done, as with anything else it will be a work in progress and I’ll see how it goes after the first shopping trip.

Another area I need to address is fitness and fitting it into my day. I need to make a routine for fitness. Yes I say this all the time but this time I am going to do it. I am going to keep it simple but I am going to do it. As part of my weekly planning I am going to incorporate walking at least 3 times a week and then reassess after a few weeks and see what else I can include in my plan.

My new routine will be walking 3 days a week at lunch time.  Maybe if I write it down I will actually do it.

Thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-28-cleaning/) another area  of my life that is made simpler.