52 Week Challenge - Week 4

Balance and Wheel of life

My first thought was thanks Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/)  another tough challenge,   another brain strainer and wow this one will be hard.  Then I looked at it again and thought yeah I can do this.

 Maybe I am toughening up, just maybe I am learning something about myself because once I devoted some time to this challenge I realised that it wasn’t so difficult and that I could create the wheel of life without spending the entire day stressing over the right words.

Not sure if it was one of the other posts I read today or the fact that I am actually learning about myself from the previous challenges but I am looking at myself, really looking at myself not at what I think I should be.

My wheel of life isn’t very balanced but it is a starting point for me to make some much needed changes to my life.  Now to put a bit of thought into how I can make the changes I need to make and got on with it.

Look out 2012 here I come………

                                               

52 Week Challenge - Week 3 Challenge

The Family Mission Statement or as I came to think of it “Mission Impossible”.

A week in and I still hadn’t approached my family (LOML and Merman) to discuss our Family Mission Statement. Thank heavens we have two weeks to complete this challenge.   I thought about it, I then put it out of my mind and then thought about it a bit more.  I finally asked my fellas to spend some time with me to work out our Family Mission Statement.  I’d like to back track a bit here and explain why I’ve struggled with this.
My LOML is over 50 and from the era that doesn’t really go for all this new age mumbo jumbo (his words) and well Merman is the typical 15 year old boy. So I didn’t have high hopes for a successful outcome. As usual I don’t give my fellas enough credit. Even though they weren’t totally sold on “the family mission statement” they participated, maybe not overly enthusiastic but for the love of me they participated.  Which makes me feel really good and very grateful for their love.
I rehearsed my words a few times and then I let loose but it didn’t quite come out the way I wanted but the effect was the same we worked through the questions Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/) provided and we had a few laughs while we worked our way to the bottom of the list.

It was interesting to find out that both my fellas described me as a “worrier” that cares and is loving.  I like the cares and loving but a worrier – well this is something to work on. 

I really liked that we all used similar words when describing what was important to us and how we value each other, our family and our values.

I was intrigued to find that the relationships we want are friendly, nice, honest, hassle free and peaceful -   I think I might have influenced this one. This led in nicely with the way we treat each other which is respectfully. Generally we are a happy family that respects each other and don’t really want to change – this was pleasing to hear especially since it came from Merman.

We’ve never been into what others think about us, keeping up with the Jones’ so this doesn’t really mean a lot to us and not something I want to spend much time on.

We are at our best when we spend time together whether it is watching movies, supporting our favorite footy team or working together. On the flip side we are at our worst when we yell at each other and don’t respect each other. As parents we are passionate about wanting the best for Merman and teaching him the skills he needs to live a happy and successful life. Sometimes the three of us disagree about the best way to do this but in the long run we get there and always know that what we do we do for love.

Having a few laughs along the way we came up with the following about when we are the most happiest………… no particular order

When Merman brings home A’s on his report card.

When things go right

When LOML isn’t nagged by me (I wonder who provided this amazing insight)

Ok so after the discussion with my fellas and some more thought I think I have it “The mission statement for our family is”:

We believe in each other and will be respectful in all our dealings. We value each other and life. Our home is a place where we can be ourselves. We encourage honesty and integrity. We work together to achieve happiness, honesty and integrity.

To bring this mission statement to life a few things have to happen:

I need to take heed of what both of my fellas said and stop worrying so much.

We need to continue to communicate and be there for each other.

We need to respect each other’s opinion (always support St George Illawarra).

We need to remain relaxed and remember our home is a home and not a house.

We need to continue to value each other and always act with honesty and integrity.

We need to have fun and remember to smell the roses.

This challenge wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, I actually received some really good feedback especially from Merman.  I really like how we spoke about fun and happiness. This is something I want to follow up on, to make sure our home remains happy and healthy.

This week we had some sad news, a boy that Merman used to go to school with committed suicide.  It was so sad – 15 years old and he took his own life. Sometimes this world is so sad and really disturbing.  It is really important for me to ensure the lines of communication are always open and no matter what, no matter the issue, no matter how annoyed or angry we are that we always talk to each  other.  That we always treat each other with respect, honesty and integrity and are always understanding. It doesn’t mean we agree with everything and I know there will be days that will be turbulent but if we respect each other we can get through anything.

As we continue our journey through 2012 we will continue to value each other and always act with honesty and integrity.  I know there will be some down days but I also know that there will be many happy, fun and enjoyable times.

 Our Mission (if we choose to accept it) is to put this Family  Mission Statement into reality and to make sure that it won’t self destruct………………..

52 Week Challenge - Week 2 challenge:

 Go through the process and define your top 5 core values including ranking themnesty

Try not to become a person of success. Rather become a person of value. 
Albert Einstein

This week’s challenge from Deb at http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/52-weeks-to-simplify-your-life-challenge/ had me thinking long and hard, heading down one track and then doing a couple of U-turns and heading off in another direction but finding my way back to the first well worn track.

Narrowing it down was really difficult and after day one I wasn’t sure I’d found the right words to describe the values I have or is it the values I want. This is the crux of the challenge this week for me, are the values I listed ones I have or ones I want.

I’m going to dissect each one and see how I go:

Honesty – very important to me, honesty is everything.  The good the bad and the ugly as long as it is honest. Very important for anybody, family, group, friend, workplace, community or anywhere.

Integrity being an upstanding person that does everything right is this important to me or is just so I am seen to do the right thing.  I didn't really want to put this one in as it makes me sound like such a fuddy duddy but being honest (we all know how important that is to me) I had to include this one even if it makes me sound really boring.

Understanding and empathy for people, walking a mile in another person’s shoes.  For me this is very important and works in all areas of my life. Understanding family, friends, community,  workplace and importantly me.

Sincerity this is about being honest not only with myself but with others. Also about being true to myself. Yes there is a bit of a theme happening here - even thought I tried to get away from it I just couldn't. This is what makes me the person I am.

Peacefulness – its not peace, or being a pacifist, its about living a peaceful life without conflict in any form. This is very important and works in very well with my other values.  All roads lead to peace.

I still wasn't sure that these were the right ones.  Another way I looked at it was  'what do I value in others' or 'what don’t I like in others…….'.

When I looked at the values I like in others I came up with similar values but this wasn’t enough for me so looked at it in another way. I decided to create categories and then put values under the categories to come up with the top value in each category and hopefully I will be on the way to my 5 core values.

In no particular order the categories and the core value for each category are :

Community - Understanding
Family - Sincerity
Work - Integrity
Me – Peacefulness
Friends- Uplifting

This is very interesting – there were a lot of similar values in both my lists.  As much as I would love to include determination, listening, support, manners, respect, work ethic, kindness, learning and the many others I culled from my top 5 I guess it is the difference between what is and what you want it to be. Something for me to aim for and maybe in a couple of months if I attempt this challenge again these values may change.

Looking back to move forward……. I see it as it is:  Honesty, peacefulness, integrity, understanding and sincerity these are my values.

Yep, that’s Me!

A little off track

Being nice to each other

Over the past 72 hours I have been a part of something truly amazing, it started with me stumbling across a post on Facebook about Simplifying our lives and then the snowball took hold and I was caught up the most fantastic journey.

What I have found is that the world is truly a good place. Before yesterday I had never read a blog, I knew they were out there but I didn’t go there – I don’t know why but I just didn’t. In 72 hours I have read several posts from a variety of blogs and OMG what a world we live in.  I always knew my life was good that I haven’t had any major issues but you know what it’s like there were a few things that didn’t go to plan or that had upset me and I felt that my world was crashing down on my.  I knew that there were people out there that were doing very tough each and every day. It has blown me away to read about the resilience of people, of the courage, of the sadness, of the amazing stories but what has really touched my heart is the support and friendship I have read about.

 The way people have cared and shared but more importantly listened to and acknowledged each other not to mention the way people have stood by each other no matter what without being judgemental is really fantastic.

Every single post I read I saw people being nice to each other and people looking out for each other. Something that is very close to my heart and something I am always looking for but have rarely found.

Over five years ago my mother passed away and her death has left a huge hole in my life. Yes I know I should be over it by now but well I’m not – I wish I was but  that’s the way it is and each day I miss her more. I trued to fight it and tell myself to just get over it but well it hasn’t worked yet so maybe there is a reason I haven’t let go yet, so instead of fighting it I am going to accept that’s the way I feel.

Mum’s favourite saying was “be nice to each other”. She used it often and always told us that many problems of the world could be solved in people would just be nice to each other. For the first time in a very long time I feel I have found a place where people are nice to each other, they help and support each other. Thanks Deb from Home Life Simplified (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au) you have opened up a whole new world for me.

                    And on that note I will leave you with my favourite saying:                            

Be nice to each other

Looking Back to Move Forward

Last year I started a journal to help me change some bad lifestyle habits and to help me reduce weight. One month later 24 Chapters were written and I’d like to share some of my writing with you. It is Time!

 
                I have spent the last 28 years eating and drinking whatever and whenever with periods of dieting in between.  I’d lose weight only to put it back on and then some. The typical yo yo  dieter.

I can categorically say I am an emotional eater/drinker:

                When I am happy I eat/drink

                When I am sad I eat/drink

                When I am lonely I eat/drink

                When I’m enjoying good/bad company I eat/drink

I think you get the picture.

Thirty years of adulthood brings ups and downs as with all people I’ve had mine too.  Nothing major, nothing out of the ordinary – marriage, birth, moves, deaths, new friends and old friends moving on.  Just life!

During this time I celebrated and consoled myself with food and drink.  I took the easy way out when cooking and eating.   Quick and easy meals usually containing heaps of fat and kilojoules.  I cooked meals for convenience not nutritional value. 

During this time I spent a large amount of time and effort going on diets and then just as much time and effort going off them.  I lost weight but then put it back on usually twice as much as I lost.

So here I am 48 years old, married for 28 years with a 15 year old son and not liking the skin (and rolls of fat) I’m in.

Hands up if anyone else feels the same? Here we go we are going to find our spot in this world and where we want to be.

I could go on and on about why I want to change but if I look into my heart of hearts the one true reason is because its time.  Simple as that………. It’s time.  For too long I’ve hidden behind excuses, I’ve had enough and now I am going to change!

I’ve found my inspiration and I want you to join me on my journey.  Come on let’s share some laughs together, wipe away a few tears and most importantly learn from each other.

52 Week Challenge - Week 1

What I grateful for in 2011

Hello and welcome to my first ever blog.
I've started the new year by challenging myself.  Part of that challenge is to get organised and to get my family back on track. I found this wonderful place (52 week challenge) http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/ and I've decided to take this challenge.

The first challenge is what I am grateful for in 2011.  I thought it would be a simple task with one or two things but a funny thing happened when I started looking back, I found that I was grateful for many things.

Deb from the 52 week challenge asked a few questions to help get the ball rolling:

What energised you?  Writing my book.

What made you feel happy? Being loved.

What made you feel at peace? Knowing what I am doing.

What positive people lifted you up?  There are many people that have lifted me up. (A,K,S,T)

What filled your “tank”? I find this really hard to answer, Family, being loved and being needed is very important to me. Doing something that is makes feel I've value added. Not the best answer I know but well sometimes the true doesn't always sound great.

What worked to bring your family together? Communication

What is something that made you feel excited to dive right in? Writing my book

What did you learn (positive things)? Just do it. Don’t think about what others think of you if you want to do it just do it.

Now for the had stuff: What are you grateful for? (not in any particular order)
That my husband (LOML)and I are a lot closer and getting closer all the time. Times were a bit bleak but we muddled through it and we came through it with flying colours. Who would have thought we after 28 years we'd fall in love again.

My son (Merman) is going really well and we communicate. I am very proud of him - he is one of the good guys.

I feel mum is close by and I am going to look for her signs more.

I am happy how my sisters and I get on, I respect them and enjoy their company.

I am working in a job I feel good about and l like .

I am looking to myself for happiness and not relying on others.

I am putting fun back into my life.

 I am grateful for LOML's diagnosis and the chance for us to fix it and to live a better life.

I am glad I am getting closer to Dad.

I wrote a book and am working on another one.

I learnt that I can achieve what I want to and that I should have confidence in myself.

I appreciate that I have looked inside and seen that I don’t need drink or food (too much of) to be happy.

I really appreciate my friendships with K and A both of them inspire and motivate me in different ways.  I am so glad D, M, Y, L and S are in my life.

So there you have it. What I am grateful for.