52 Week Challenge - Week 13

Goals  - Looking back and checking in

On one hand Week 6 seems such a long time ago and on the other hand it has gone by in a blink of an eye.  Things have changed, I have changed and life is not only good it is great.

I started the SYL journey to simplify my life, yes I know that is obvious.

I wanted to organise myself and to do things better. My goals were directed towards that outcome, but a funny thing happened along the way.  My goals changed – not a great deal but the reasons I am continuing the SYL journey have changed.

I've come to realise that I am not doing this challenge to look better to others, I am doing this because I want to be better and I want to be at ease with the decisions I make.  I am simplifying my life by being kinder to myself and letting go of the self-beliefs that have ruled my life and that have held me back or have led me down a complicated path of behavior I didn’t like.

To be frank with you I set goals to be somebody I wasn’t and I was setting myself up for failure and by working through the challenges I can now see things clearly and more importantly I am being honest with myself.

Being comfortable with my life is so important, I live quite a simple life and I used to think I should do more , I should be more but when the truth of the matter is I am ok with my current life.  My belief system (my self talk) was focused towards saying I had to do more to be more, I had go on holidays to places I really don’t want to go to, I had to buy things I really didn’t want, I had to wear make up I really don’t like – I  think you get the picture.  I enjoy doing certain things like staying home and watching DVDs and that should be enough, I like living a simple life and that should be enough, I enjoy being a home body and that should be enough, it doesn’t matter where my family are as long as we are together and that should be enough.  You know what - it is enough and I am finally beginning to understand that I don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations.  The only expectations I have to live up to are mine!

Please don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting or doing any of the things I’ve mentioned – it’s a great life if that is what you want but I don’t want it. I enjoy many things, I get out and about and do things  but I have also come to the realisation I’ve been doing things because it looks good or because others do it and I don’t want to do that anymore.

48 years old and I finally come to the realisation that I can live my own life my way and I don't have to be a sheep and follow others. They say good things come to those who wait.
Bearing this new realisation in mind I've looked back at my week 6 goals with new eyes and although the reasons and the outcomes have changed my categories of goals are still the same.
Me –

Weight reduction -  this hasn’t gone as well as I wanted – the numbers aren’t moving down or for that matter up, but I am walking more, drinking less and eating better. Most of the time anyway, unfortunately there are far too many times that I stray from my plans. Now is the time to refocus and by reviewing my goals I will get better at this. It has got to be about me not about others, when I do this for me then it will happen.

Publishing my book – I haven’t been doing anything at all with my book. Actually I don’t really want to do anything with it yet. I had feedback from the competition I entered and well it wasn’t as good as I wanted but it did highlight a few things that I will work on.  At the moment I am doing too many other things that I enjoy. I will get back to it later when I have a few things sorted out.

Further education – I’ve been looking for courses and whilst I haven’t signed up yet I have a fair idea what I want to do. I am going on a few courses for work and shortly will be starting a 4 week leadership program.

Family –

Holiday together – still working on this, Merman and I are going on holiday soon (LOML can’t get the time off work).  We are still planning the family holiday and I am planning a surprise weekend for LOML and me.

Spending time together – this has been awesome we do so much together and we really enjoy each other’s company.  It is great and I truly do enjoy my fellas company.  Footy night is great fun. We share more things and actually communicate with each other instead of just talking at each other.

Merman is doing so well – really well.  He achieved some really good results in his recent exams, he has started a part time job and he is doing really well in all other areas of his life (he even remembers to empty the bin without being told).  Looks like he will even be asked to be the captain of the soccer team again this year. This week I received some really great feedback from his Head of House. Yes I am a very proud parent. More importantly he isn’t stressing out about things and is taking things in his stride.

Home –

Cleaning house – not as great as I wanted but well you know what I don’t really care – I only made this goal to look good. I really don’t care about housework. I do enough to get by and that is enough for me and luckily it is enough for my family too.

Yard – yep no need to mess about with this one, it’s the same as cleaning house.  Don’t care about it and am not going to loose any sleep over it. Actually LOML and I are talking about hiring somebody to do this and I am ok with that (I might even get a house cleaner too)!

Pergola – this is still a work in progress and I’m ok with that. It will happen it just won’t happen over night.

De clutter – this is also a work in progress and I’ve made some progress. I have curbed my shopping and I use the following saying when I go to buy something “need it badly or love it madly”. I’ve cleaned out a few things and sorted out some rooms.

Career –
Promotion - this has been going really well for me. I am working towards this goal and by small steps I have come to the notice of my bosses (in a good way). There may be some news in the new future.

What’s next
I like where I am at the moment and I am really pleased with my progress but I have a few more goals to add to the list.

I am not going to worry about what others think, I don’t do things because I worry what people will think of me, that my actions and words will seem too sooky and emotive or even silly. My goal is to speak my mind more and find my voice, I will stop overthinking everything.

 I am enough and I accept myself as I am.

I am going to embrace my simple life and know that this is what I want and it is what I do best. It is what my family wants and it is what they do best. We don't have to be something we aren't, over the years I have put a lot of pressure on my fellas to do things they don't want to and this will stop. In saying this just because they don't want to do the things I want to it won't stop me. I will not hold back from doing things I want to do anymore.

Another area I am going to work on is to let go of things and to understand that things change. A very dear relationship has ended and I grieve for it, I miss her so very much but I do understand why we drifted apart and more importantly I know it’s the best for the both of us. What I am going to do is not forsake other relationships because our relationship is changed.  I won’t hold back from talking to mutual friends or from doing things that we used to do just in case our paths cross. I will also stop blaming myself for changing and for wanting something more.

Goals have been reviewed and reassessed. It’s full steam ahead to achieving my revised goals. It’s been really good to review my goals and I will make sure I review and update them regularly.  

Thanks Deb ( http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-time-management-planning/#more-3482 ) another challenge that hits the spot, I know I say this each week but for me this week's challenge has been a real eye opener and has set me on a path that will ease my conflicted heart to help me be the best I can be and know that I am enough.