52 Week Challenge - Week 17

Decision Making and overthinking

Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/procrastination/) has done it again.  Just when you think there are no more surprises, Deb posts a challenge that has touched my very core – it’s almost as if she knows me and is setting these challenges just for me.

Overthinking – besides making lists it is the thing I do the most.

I’ve been thinking about this lately (no not overthinking it this time) but actually wondering why I think too much.  What is it – don’t I trust my judgement, lack of confidence, too much time on my hands or is it just the way I am wired.

Which way is up?

Looking back to move forward I’ve found something very interesting – the big decisions come easier to me.  I use a number of tools to help me with the big decisions – pros and cons lists, asking advice and seeking information.  I am comfortable with my decision making - the area I overthink is the everyday things, to be precise the way I interact with people.

Although I am working on it I still struggle with what people think of me especially at work. I overthink my words – making sure I don’t sound silly, offend anyone, makes sense or just say too much. Mental rehearsal is good but I overthink it and spend too much time on it. This stems from a lack of confidence and in particular my ridiculous opinion that my educational level is a disadvantage. The funny thing is that if I was to turn around the situation and if this was about somebody else I would say “balderdash” how silly – educational level has nothing to do with it, life experiences, common sense, honesty, work ethic and ability is what matters.  So why don’t I think that about myself?

It’s time I make some choices and have more confidence in myself.

I am good at my job, I enjoy my job and my opinion is valued – this is evidenced in many ways – feedback from bosses and colleagues.  I just have to convince myself and remove my roadblock.

I’ve made fantastic progress in other areas of my life I have no doubt I will find a way to remove my roadblock or at the very least identify my roadblock.

For a start I am going to embrace my abilities and trust myself.

As I have been writing this post something occurred to me – how much time do I waste on overthinking situations? I could achieve so much more if I would just trust my instincts, 9 out of 10 times I usually go with my first instinct anyway. Another thing has just occurred to me I am not a perfectionist, I don’t need to be perfect in everything I do – I believe that mistakes are a way of learning things and are important for our growth.  So why don’t I speak freely, what does it matter if I make a mistake and why do I overthink everything I do.  OMG! The light bulb just went off.

My AH HA moment

What does it matter if I make a mistake or if my decision is wrong? Isn’t it worse if I don’t do anything at all – as long as I can justify my decision shouldn’t that be enough?   It’s not as if I have my hand in somebody’s heart reviving them.  My job is paperwork  - what’s the worst that will happen? 

I accept others mistakes and don’t hold it against them, shouldn’t I expect to be treated the same. Allowing them to be accepting of my mistakes. Oh yeah by the way – who says I will make mistakes.

The old lack of confidence raising its ugly head again – always thinking I’m not good enough. This will stop and it will stop NOW!

By relieving the pressure I may just be opening myself up to many new experiences and opportunities.

I know it won’t come easy, I know that it won’t happen overnight but I also know I am ready to make the changes needed to move forward on the next part of my journey.

I was going to make a plan, start a list, think about how I will stop overthinking but well that would have defeated the purpose wouldn’t it.  So here is the plan – there will be no plan.  I am going to trust my instincts, back myself and just go with the flow.

As soon as I find myself overthinking I will stop and just do it.

There is a new day dawning!