52 Week Challenge - Week 12

Change - the old, the new and where to now

Change to me is many things - scary, exciting, sad, joyous, frustrating and slow but more than anything doesn’t happen if I don’t understand it. Deb (http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/simplify-your-life-week-thirteen-check-in/) has taken me on a journey to help me understand change, in particular the why, how and what but now its up to me to work out the when. 

Yes this is the challenge for me – so many things I want to change but where do I start.  Just when I was feeling a little overwhelmed and that I wasn’t actually changing as much as I wanted Deb has set a challenge that reminded me how far I’ve actually come.

Changes that have occurred in my world during the past 11 weeks have been many – not sure if they all attributed to my changes (but I will take the credit).  Actually, maybe I should take the credit as  this isn’t so far from the truth –

·         I’ve set goals and worked towards them, this included talking more with LOML and Merman – open communication, better understanding, closeness and being together – actually this is one of the biggest changes. We are all getting on better, we are happier and things are going so very well for us.  Maybe its because my husband has a better job and he is happier, Merman is growing up and is being more responsible (he even found a part time job so the Bank of mum and dad isn’t suffering such large withdrawals) or maybe its because I am happier and am being kinder to myself, not expecting so much from myself and others.
·         I’ve taken time out for myself – I’m less stressed and able to deal better with the small things that pop up in my life and I don’t feel the weight of everything on my shoulders. I am sharing responsibilities and finding that by sharing I am empowering others and really how conceited to think everything is up to me – that I am the centre of everything. By empowering others in my life I can see clearly that team work whether at home or work is about everyone getting the chance to participate and not about the final outcome. I don’t have to do it all.  
·         I’ve started letting go of some of the emotional issues that have held me back – so many benefits out of this to list but I’ve let go of something after realising that it just wasn’t meant to be and although it still hurts I am feeling more in control of the situation. If it is meant to be it will be and if not I have some wonderful memories. One of my greatest fears was that by making changes I would loose – loose relationships, friendships, respect, control and excuses but all my fears for nothing. Yes I did loose a very special friendship but to be honest that friendship was on the way out for a while and whilst I am very sad about this what I have gained has definitely outweighed the loses. My life is simpler and I am happier.
·         I am surrounding myself with people and things that make me a better person and am getting rid of the detractors in my life – I am relying less on the crutches in my life and learning to cope without people and things that prop me up.
·         I am finding a voice and more importantly finding my voice is worth finding.
·         I am increasing my efforts to show my gratitude, to tell people how important they are and how much I value them.
·         I can see the flow on effect in so many areas of my life that are far too numerous to mention here but summing it up in a few words, it’s about confidence. Confidence with my loved ones, at work and in my everyday interactions. Confidence that I am enough. Confidence that I can do things or in some case not do things and the world won’t come crashing down around my ankles.

In a nutshell Change for me has meant confidence and I now am ready to complete one of my biggest challenges, reducing my weight and living a healthier life. For so many years I have been hiding behind a barrage of excuses and I now see them for what they are: weak, silly excuses.

For too many years I’ve pussy footed around the main issue but now I know what I have to do but more importantly how I am going to do it. I also know there is no easy fix, that it will take time and that small steps are the only way to go. I will do this. I will make it and I will find the courage and strength to make the changes I need to reach my goal.

One of my favourite sayings is Mahatma Gandhi’s

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”

For many years I have been using this quote but until now I didn’t really understand what it means. With the help of Deb and her amazing 12 weeks of challenges I am using the tools I’ve learnt to make the biggest and most important change in my life.  I am confident that I will do it for the first time in my life I actually believe I will do it and I’m not setting myself up for failure.  I know there will be struggles, I know that it will be tough but I also know I can look after myself and I can do it and I know that my loved ones will support me.

Changes have been made and my fellas have supported me and I know that I continue to have their support – they were there for me when I asked them to help me with our family values (even if they didn’t really want to at the start they did it for me and made great contributions – yes I was listening when they said I was too moody).

One step at a time I will achieve all my goals and I will have fun doing it.

 One small step is taking more steps – I will fit a 30 minute walk into my day whether it is in the morning, at lunch time or at night and I will use this time to reflect on areas in my life I am grateful for.

Change isn’t always easier but it is definitely worth it